Kurama's Room: Live Wecam show
by LadyAsphodel
Summary: Kurama and his roomates and friends have a webcam show live from their college dorm! very funny! plz R/R
1. Show number 1

Kurama: Hey, what's up, everybody? It's me, Kurama. Back at Hampshire College for junior year numero tres. You'll notice a few changes in the show. One, we got a house band, otherwise known as Hampshire College's resident turntableist-DJ Kuwabara! [turns camera to DJ]   
  
[DJ spins Daft Punk's "One More Time"]   
  
Kurama: You probably know Kuwabara from last year's Halloween party, when he played "Monster Mash" for eight straight hours.   
  
[DJ switches to "Monster Mash"; Kurama looks puzzled]   
  
Kurama: [to DJ] Come on, dude, you got four more weeks. [turns camera back] Next, you'll see that I moved out of Lema Hall and into McGinn. I know what you're thinking. That's the dorm where they put all the psycho kids. But it also happens to be right next door to the dining hall. I can smell chickwiches all day long. So even though you'll occasionally get a naked dude breaking into your room covered in his own poop, it's totally worth it. Now returning to the show for an unprecedented sixth senior year is my best friend Katsume.   
  
[Katsume enters with bongo drums; audience cheers and applauds]   
  
Katsume: What's up, man?   
  
[Katsume sings Afroman's "Because I Got High" aimlessly, then laughs incoherently]   
  
Katsume: Hey, I got a joke for you.   
  
Kurama: Cool, man. Let's hear it.   
  
Katsume: You know those chips they have? Baked Lays?   
  
Kurama: Yeah…   
  
Katsume: Yeah, it's like they're chips, but also it's like they're smoking pot. [to camera] Baked Lays! [laughs; sits back down] Yeah. And also the word Lays.   
  
Kurama: What?   
  
Katsume: It's like two jokes! [laughs] Oh man, it's funny! [laughs again]   
  
Kurama: Did you think of that all by yourself?   
  
Katsume: Nope! Hiei told me. [laughs]   
  
Kurama: Great. Well, it's the start of the new school year, and you know what that means-new freshmen. And [holds up Freshman Face Book] a new Freshman Face Book. So without further ado, we present the sixth annual Freshman Face Book Awards!   
  
[Kurama and Katsume's FRESHMAN FACEBOOK AWARDS appears on screen]   
  
Jarrett: Here to help us give out this year's awards is a man who knows a thing or two about first years-they call him the Freshman 15, because every year he ends up getting with at least fifteen freshmen-pleasewelcome our good friend Hiei!   
  
[DJ spins "One More Time" as Hiei enters]   
  
Kurama: What's up, Hiei?   
  
Hiei: [to camera] Two words! Kegg-er! To-night! [continuously] My place. Off campus. Beer pong. Flip cup. Jell-o shot. Booze loose. Quarters. [sits down] We've got an above-ground pool filled up with hot water. [conceited] It's the largest hot tub you've ever seen. [back to normal] We got Kuwabara on the wheels of steel.   
  
[camera turns to DJ; DJ spins "Monster Mash"]   
  
DJ Kuwabara: [with Australian accent] Check me out this Sunday. I'll be playing the Parent's Weekend Waffle Brunch from 10 a.m. to 11:30.   
  
Kurama: Dude, what's with the accent? You're from New Jersey.   
  
[DJ angrily stops spinning]   
  
DJ Kurama: [without accent] Not cool, man. Not cool, Kurama.   
  
[camera turns back]   
  
Hiei: Anyway, our first Face Book award is for Best Name. [Katsume does drum roll on bongos] Thank you. And the winner is…[to camera; very pronounced] Keiko…Butt!   
  
[everyone laughs; picture of Keiko Butt appears on screen]   
  
Kurama: I mean, come on! You've been ridiculed through grade school, high school…it's college! Clean slate! Change your name already! The game hasn't even started and you've already lost!   
  
Hiei: Next award is for Most Likely To Graduate A Virgin. [drum roll] And the winner is…this guy!   
  
[picture of a man with unusual-looking braces, appears on screen]   
  
Kurama: What a-what a goof! This guy couldn't get laid getting off a plane in Hawaii!   
  
Hiei: Next award is the I Swear To God I'm Not A Narc award!   
  
[drum roll]   
  
[picture of Genkai, a lady with an ancient-looking mustache, appears on screen]   
  
Kurama: Nice mustache! Dude, is your middle name Not A Cop?   
  
Hiei: What is she, like, 50?   
  
Kurama: Do you live at 21 Jump Street?   
  
[Katsume laughs and wheezes; Kurama pats her back]   
  
Katsume: That girl's name was Butt!   
  
[everyone laughs]   
  
Kurama: Dude, are you high right now?   
  
Katsume: Hold on. …Hmm. …Hmm. Yep!   
  
[everyone laughs]   
  
Hiei: Dude, it's 9 in the morning.   
  
Katsume: Wake and bake, dude! [laughs] It's 4:20 somewhere!   
  
Kurama: No it's not. Don't you know how time zones work?   
  
Katsume: Nope.   
  
Yusuke: [off screen] Shut up out there!   
  
Hiei: Who's that?   
  
Kurama: That's our roommate, Yusuke. He's brand new. He got kicked out of his frat 'cause he kept taking dumps in the washing machine.   
  
Hiei: Oh.   
  
[Yusuke enters, punches Kurama in the shoulder, then sits down]   
  
Yusuke: Two for looking! I swear to God. If you freaks wake up the girl in my room, you're dead.   
  
[Jill enters]   
  
Keiko Butt: Hey Yusuke, come back to bed.   
  
[Kurama, Katsume and Hiei try to suppress their laughter]   
  
Yusuke: What's so funny? [frustrated] What's so funny?   
  
Hiei: Hey Yusuke, what's your girlfriend's name?   
  
Yusuke: [reluctant] Keiko.   
  
Kurama: Keiko what?   
  
Keiko Butt: Hey Yusuke, can I keep this shirt?   
  
Yusuke: Cool it, Keiko! Go wait for me in my room.   
  
[Keiko groans]   
  
Keiko Butt: [to Kurama, Katsume and Hiei] Hey, guys. I'm Keiko Butt.   
  
[Kurama, Katsume and Hiei laugh]   
  
Kurama: [extending his hand] Uh, hi. Uh, Kurama Ass. Nice to meet you.   
  
Hiei: Yeah. I'm Hiei Brown-Eye.   
  
Katusume: Yeah. I'm Katsume…Butt! II!   
  
Keiko Butt: You guys are jerks! [exits]   
  
Yusuke: You geeks are dead when I get back! [to camera] And by the way, Sigma Chi, just because you kicked me out doesn't mean I'm gonna stop taking dumps in your washing machine. [exits]   
  
Kurama: All right, that's all the time we have today. I gotta go drink six Red Bulls before   
Hiei's party. DJ Kuwabara, take us OUT!   
  
[camera turns to DJ; DJ spins "One More Time"] 


	2. Show number 2

Kurama: What's up, everybody? My name's Kurama, and if you're logging on for the first time, I do this webcast every day 24/7 from my sweet three-man, here at Hamster College. I'm super psyched today, 'cause I just got my sweet fake ID. So, from now on you can call me Habul Jalarhalo. Anyway, my first guest, as always, is my homey and my roommate, please welcome Katsume.   
  
Katsume: What's up, bro-bro? [ singing ] "Who let the bongs out?"   
  
Kurama: For you guys who don't know, Katsume can take any song and make it about bongs. Do another one.   
  
Katsume: [ singing ] "My name is.. what,  
my name is.. Bong Shady!"   
  
Kurama: Oh, man, do another one!   
  
Katsume: Alright. Ready? [ singing ] "Who let the bongs out?"   
  
Kurama: Okay, they can't all be winners. Anyway, the Oscars are coming up, so let's take a look at the nominees. Alright, first category, Best Picture: "Chocolat."   
  
Katsume: Ah, Choc-o-lot! [ laughs ] That was awesome! Remember when we tried to convince those people that we were French?   
  
Kurama: Yeah. You were all.. [ mumbles in French ] Katsume! The next nominee: "Traffic."   
  
Katsume: Dude, that movie was hilarious! There was, like, this dude, and he couldn't find his car. It was awesome!   
  
Kurama: No, that was "Dude, Where's My Car?" "Traffic" was the one about the war on drugs.   
  
Katsume: Oh. I never want to fight a war on drugs. It's hard enough going to school on drugs!   
  
Kurama: The Coolest Movie: "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon."   
  
Katsume: Oh, man, it was really hard! There were so many words on the bottom.. But Kung Fu is soft as cream cheese, dude. They're all like.. [ imitates Kung Fu moves ] We got kicked out of the theater!   
  
[ Kurizu enters the screen ]   
  
Kurizu: Hi, Kurama.   
  
Kurama: Kurizu? Oh, man, I forgot. This is Kurizu, she's in my Women's Study class, which, by the way, has not paid off like I was told. [ to Katsume ] Dude, don't you have to go do something?   
  
Katsume: No. You said I should stay, remember, until that girl came over that you wanted to- oh, yeaaahhh!! [ jumps up ] I gotta go!   
  
Kurama: What's up, Kurizu?   
  
Kurizu: [ sits ] Hi, everyone. I just.. I wanted to let everyone know that from 3:00 to 3:45 p.m. tomorrow we'll be making a human chain around the cafeteria in order to protest the university's ties with the evil Skittles corporation.   
  
Kurama: Really? How many people do you have so far?   
  
Kurizu: Six. Two confirmed.   
  
Kurama: Two is a good start.   
  
Kurizu: Yeah, well, the Skittles is a known user of the Green Dye 44.   
  
Kurama: Yeah. Green Dye 44 is bad. [ tries to kiss her ]   
  
Kurizu: What are you doing?   
  
Kurama: What are.. we doing?   
  
Kurizu: Gross. Gross.   
  
[ loud music plays in the background, "One Night In Bangkok" ]   
  
Kurama: That's my other roommate, Hiei. He's really into the "Chess" soundtrack. The other day I caught him jumping on his bed listening to it. Dude, turn that off! [ music stops ] Hiei's from Canada. The other day, me and Katsume convinced him that American girls really like it when you wear mesh tank tops and quote lines from Billy Joel songs.   
  
[ Hiei enters the screen, wearing a mesh tank top ]   
  
Hiei: Well, well, well. I didn't realize we had a guest. You look like you must be an uptown girl. Who's been living in her white bread world.   
  
Kurizu: My God.. I love Billy Joel.   
  
Kurama: [ surprised ] You do?   
  
Hiei: Oh, I happen to have a bottle of red and a bottle of white.   
  
Kurizu: Perhaps a little bottle of rose tonight.   
  
Hiei: Absolutely.   
  
Kurizu: I love your mesh tank top.   
  
Kurama: You gotta be kidding me, man!   
  
[ Katsume jumps back into the scene ]   
  
Katsume: First off, relax!   
  
Kurama: I'm not even excited.   
  
Katsume: Okay, let's just say, hypothetically, that I cracked open one of my glow sticks and smoked it.   
  
Kurama: I guess I have to take Katsume to the hospital now.   
  
Katsume: Hypothetically..!   
  
Kurama: Tune in tomorrow when me and Katsume are gonna show you this sweet surveillance tape I got of the guy from Blink182 eating at Denny's. Until then, this is Kurama, logging off. 


	3. Show number 3

Kurama: Welcome Compadres back to Kurama's Room- the live web cam show straight from Hampshire Hall College. Back from Christmas break, with everybody back, and of course, all of our great friends back. Give a round' a' sound of DJ Kuwabara!   
  
(sound of It's Tricky by Run DMC)   
  
DJ Kuwabara: (Strong British accent) Catch me this Thursday at the California Pizza Kitchen! Kids under 12 get in free!   
  
(Kurama looks into camera)   
  
Kurama: (Fake Cough) New Jersey   
  
(Song stops)   
  
DJ Kuwabara: Damn it Kurama, I quit.   
  
(takes off headphones and walks out of the door, where Katsume is waiting, with something in her hands.)   
  
Kurama: Katsume! Yeah! What's up man!   
  
(They both sit down on the bed)   
  
Katsume: I am having some problems. (Puts up hands which are tied together with a Chinese finger trap) this Barbie Bong is confusing me man.   
  
Kurama: Dude.. I think that that is a Finger Trap dude.   
  
Katsume: Where do you put in the weed?   
  
(Kurama slides the trap off of her fingers)   
  
Kurama: Its not a bong dude. It's a game thingy.   
  
Katsume: Whatever duuuude. Oh. My sister is here visiting. Natsume come in.   
  
(Natsume enters, not looking like Katsume)   
  
Natsume: Hey duuuudes. I'm Natsume. Me and Katsume are twins. Not Identical though. Katsume got the brains and I got the body. Oh yeah!  
Katsume: (mutters) you wish...   
  
Kurama: Oh. Ok. Well. (Looks around) What did you guys get for Christmas?   
  
Natsume: I got socks.   
  
Katsume: I got socks, too.   
  
Kurama: That's cool man.   
  
(Music starts to suddenly play. No Doubt's "Hey Baby")   
  
Kurama: (looks into camera) Turn that crap down, man.   
  
Katsume: Yeah. That hurts my ears.   
  
(Hiei comes in.)   
  
Hiei: Shut Up Jarret.. you are such a nerd. (Pushes his head back and gets face into the camera.   
  
Hiei: THE RING MOVIE WAS CRAP!!!   
  
(Hiei exits and Kurama looks into the camera confused)   
  
Kurama: Alright.   
  
(Natsume and Katsume are laughing with each other)   
Katsume: Hey..Kurama..   
  
Kurama: Yeah whats up man?   
  
Katsume: You know that Barbie bong. (Katsume Smiles deviously)   
  
Kurama: Yeah..   
  
Natsume: I SMOKED IT!   
  
Natsume: Hey Katsume...You know what?  
Katsume: WERE NOT EVEN RELATED!   
(Katsume and Natsume laugh insanely)  
Katsume: I dont even know you! AAAH!  
Kurama: Alright. Once again, I have to take Katsume... I mean.. Natsume to the hospital.. 


	4. Show number 4

Kurama: Welcome! Welcome Compadres back to Kurama's Room- the live web cam show straight from Hampshire Hall College. Back from Christmas break, with everybody back, and of course, all of our great friends back. Give a round' a' sound of DJ Kuwabara!   
  
(sound of It's Tricky by Run DMC)   
  
DJ Kuwabara: (Strong British accent) Catch me this Thursday at the California Pizza Kitchen! Kids under 12 get in free!   
  
(Kurama looks into camera)   
  
Kurama: (Fake Cough) New Jersey   
  
(Song stops)   
  
DJ Kuwabara: Damn it Kurama, I quit.   
  
(takes off headphones and walks out of the door, where Katsume is waiting, with something in her hands.)   
  
Kurama: Katsume! Yeah! What's up man!   
  
(They both sit down on the bed)   
  
Katsume: I am having some problems. (Puts up hands which are tied together with a Chinese finger trap) this Barbie Bong is confusing me man.   
  
Kurama: Dude.. I think that that is a Finger Trap dude.   
  
Katsume: Where do you put in the weed?   
  
(Kurama slides the trap off of her fingers)   
  
Kurama: Its not a bong dude. It's a game thingy.   
  
Katsume: Whatever duuuude. Oh. My sister is here visiting. Natsume come in.   
  
(Natsume enters, not looking like Katsume)   
  
Natsume: Hey duuuudes. I'm Natsume. Me and Katsume are twins. Not Identical though. Katsume got the brains and I got the body. Oh yeah!  
Katsume: (mutters) you wish...   
  
Kurama: Oh. Ok. Well. (Looks around) What did you guys get for Christmas?   
  
Natsume: I got socks.   
  
Katsume: I got socks, too.   
  
Kurama: That's cool man.   
  
(Music starts to suddenly play. No Doubt's "Hey Baby")   
  
Kurama: (looks into camera) Turn that crap down, man.   
  
Katsume: Yeah. That hurts my ears.   
  
(Hiei comes in.)   
  
Hiei: Shut Up Jarret.. you are such a nerd. (Pushes his head back and gets face into the camera.   
  
Hiei: THE RING MOVIE WAS CRAP!!!   
  
(Hiei exits and Kurama looks into the camera confused)   
  
Kurama: Alright.   
  
(Natsume and Katsume are laughing with each other)   
  
Katsume: Hey...Kurama...  
  
Kurama: Yeah whats up man?   
  
Katsume: You know that Barbie bong. (Katsume Smiles deviously)   
  
Kurama: Yeah..   
  
Natsume: I SMOKED IT!   
  
Natsume: Hey Katsume...You know what?  
  
Katsume: WERE NOT EVEN RELATED!   
  
(Katsume and Natsume laugh insanely)  
  
Katsume: I dont even know you! AAAH!  
  
Kurama: Alright. Once again, I have to take Katsume... I mean.. Natsume to the hospital.. 


End file.
